TITANIC IN 40 SECONDS, BACKWARDS!
by Emoshun
Summary: I think the name says it all. Well, I was hyper. I usually write about deep stuff, but... here goes. Click if you want a laugh. Please review!! PG-13 for language and er.. that
1. THE END

TITANIC IN 40 SECONDS, BACKWARDS  
  
A/N: If you cannot take a joke, do not read this. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.  
  
CHAPTER ONE: THE END  
  
Reviews: WANTED  
  
Another A/N: Look, I was hyper! I usually write VERY deep stuff though. I DO like Titanic, I just thought this was funny.  
  
THE END:  
  
Rose dies and has a dream about something I shouldn't say in front of the kids. Rose throws her giant necklace into the ocean (erg what a waste of money! Gosh, you shouldn't just THROW a million dollar piece of jewelry into saltwater!)  
  
Rose tells a guy on the ship that saved her that her name is Rose Dawson. Big Whoop. Rose whistles for help from a lifeboat.  
  
Jack dies.  
  
"Gurgle Gurgle," says Jack.  
  
"Make lots of babies, Rose!" Jack screams. Rose cries some more.  
  
Rose cries.  
  
Rose's Face turns white.  
  
Rose is really cold.  
  
Rose tries to climb on top of a floating piece of cardboard but since she is so fat, Jack can't fit on with her.  
  
Rose swims over to a floating piece of shit. Not literally, of course.  
  
Jack punches a guy that is. err. touching. Rose in the water.  
  
Some guy tries to drown Rose, but really, he is trying to rape her. They just don't want you to know. Stupid Hollywood, hiding something like that from us! REALLY! It's the truth!  
  
Rose and Jack almost drown.  
  
The couple Jump off of the titanic.  
  
Rose and Jack run around like chickens with their heads cut off while the Titanic is drowning and a thousand other people are ALSO running around like maniacs.  
  
THE END of the END.  
  
MORE COMING UNLESS IT GETS POOR REVIEWS. 


	2. ALMOST THE END

TITANIC IN 40 SECONDS, BACKWARDS  
  
CHAPTER 2: Almost the end  
  
A/N: Due to my loving fans (I love you too! . As a friend) that have DEMANDED that I write more, I am writing this.  
  
Jack unlocks the door and the couple (Rose and Jack) run Awaaaaaaaaaaay!  
  
Rose says, "Gurgle," and Jack thinks she's dying so he unlocks the gate.  
  
"JACK! HURRY!" Rose screams.  
  
"Oh no! I dropped the key!" Jack says, stupidly. Jack stupidly drops the key, stupidly.  
  
A creepy thin man with a key runs by and gives it to strangers behind bars.  
  
Jack and Rose do the monkey bars in water! Ooh! Fun!  
  
"Uh! Ugh!" Rose stands there and groans as she walks through the water.  
  
A stupid foreign man doesn't listen to Jack and he kills his son. (I HATED that part! The STUPID MAN didn't listen to JACK! Well, Jack isn't that smart, so I could see why he didn't.)  
  
Rose runs around like a chicken with her head cut off.  
  
Rose, with an ax, cuts through Jack's chains.  
  
Jack is afraid that Rose will kill her, so he makes her practice with the ax. She is really bad at it and can't even get the point in the same hole.  
  
Rose comes in like superman with an ax.  
  
Rose walks around in the hallways and pretends that the ax in her hands is really heavy.  
  
Rose gets a really light ax.  
  
Rose punches an innocent bystander because he refuses to talk.  
  
Rose runs around moaning like a goat.  
  
Rose Runs around moaning like a goat in Jack's room. She can't find the key that will unlock his chains, so she kisses him like she thinks it'll help. Ah, poor soul.  
  
Rose runs around moaning like a goat.  
  
Rose jumps out of the elevator.  
  
Rose runs around moaning like a goat.  
  
  
  
THE END OF ALMOST THE END!! MORE COMING!! 


	3. THE CAR SCENE

TITANIC IN 40 SECONDS BACKWARDS  
  
THE CAR SCENE  
  
A/N: you wanted more, here it is!!! The CAR scene! (I hear oohs and ahhs) I guess I'm changing the rating to "R" now. (a porn scene. Sorry guys, I had to.)  
  
"OK" Jack said, stupidly.  
  
"Come on, let's go to prison!" Cal's uncle sang happily.  
  
"YEAH RIGHT," Cal said in a girlish tone.  
  
"The ship is sinking, man," Rose told Cal and her mother, Ruth.  
  
Rose and Jack play basketball with ice cubes.  
  
Make-out time. Rose and jack passionately kiss.  
  
Rose moaned like a goat. "Oh YESSSSS!" She squealed as Jack.. um. er.. RODE HER LIKE A DONKEY. He grabs her breasts and squeezed them frantically, as if they were a monkey. (Jack likes to squeeze monkeys) Rose's sweaty hand streaked the car. "Wow, it's so." Jack smiled stupidly. "Small." Rose said blankly.  
  
"Yeah, but wait to see how I can use it!" Jack exclaimed. Jack unbuttoned his pants and out popped a penis. Where did that come from? Rose smiles.  
  
"I didn't know they were positioned there. I always thought that they grew out of one's foot, and that's why guys cover it with shoes!" Jack put on a puzzled look, then got to work. Rose shrieked as he dove inside of her. They then passionately kissed.  
  
Haha. Hahahahaha. Jack and Rose laughed like maniacs. "Take me to the solar system!" Rose yelled as she pulled Jack into the backseat of the car. (She's secretly a weight lifter in her spare time)  
  
ROSE AND JACK FIND A CAR.  
  
  
  
THE END OF THE CAR SCENE. 


End file.
